Energy Vampire n.
- Someone who uses or presents negative situations and circumstances in such a way that it causes the listener to exert large amounts of emotional energy worrying about something that the listener is unable to control
I want to make you aware of what I like to call Energy Vampires. This post is written with the intent to inform the reader about how to identify and avoid Energy Vampires. The easiest way to spot an Energy Vampire is to turn on the TV. Seriously! They are everywhere in, on, and around that thing. Unfortunately we live in a world where the Energy Vampires get paid a lot of money if they are good at what they do. Most of them appear on the News Channels in the guise of “informing” the public on what’s important. This could be further from the truth! These days the major news outlets focus 90% of their content on the negative stories of the day, week, and month. These Energy Vampires tell the general public that this story or that story is important. The end result is usually the viewers becoming divided over the topic of the story and then developing negative views towards one another. Take any negative story that involves people of two different races. The story will always be spun in a way that angers one race against the other and vice versa. This is not good for the country or the people who live there. All the energy spent on arguing why your side is “right” and their side is “wrong” is a waste of valuable time that you should be spending on repairing what you do have control over. So, turn off the news. Or, at least realize and understand that the purpose of the news is not to “inform you” but to get your attention and make money via advertising. Another place to find an Energy Vampire is at work. Everyone has a co-worker that just complains about everything under the sun. I have to do this…, I have to do that…, it’s like these people think they were hired to come in and have someone else do the work for them. Oh, and for the purpose of full disclosure, I was that guy! It is so easy to develop a negative attitude about work, especially if it’s something that you’re not passionate about. Unfortunately, for most people this seems to be the case. So, how do you deal with an Energy Vampire at work?
- Let’s start with the easiest; Avoidance. If it’s in your power to just walk away or close your door, you should do so. Manners aside, if you know this person is going to start draining the life right out of you after a polite “hello”, tell them you are in a hurry and run. Don’t worry about the energy vampire’s feelings. They will find an unsuspecting victim to suck the life right out of right after you leave.
- If you cannot easily avoid this person, let’s say you work next to them every day; you are in no doubt a sticky situation my friend. But you can tune them out. This takes great skill, and yes, may come off as rude, but you can do this in hopes that the vampire will get the hint and stop after a few blank stares, empty nods and ‘uh huhs’.
- So, you don’t want to come off as rude, you still sympathize with the vampire and their gosh darn terrible life. But you cannot go on this way! Then you need to speak up. Yes, the dreaded, standing up for yourself, the, but I don’t want it to be awkward afterwards feeling that you get comes up. But this is what it means to be an adult. And no, you don’t have to say “shut the hell up you annoying freak!” to get your point across. Simply stand your ground, tell them that they seem to have a lot of negative things to say and you would rather not get into it with them.
- This one is my fiancée’s favorite. Think of your energy, and the vampire’s energy, as a colorful field force around you. Visualize that when the energy vampire is near, there field enters yours and literally sucks the color right out. This suction continues to occur, but doesn’t result in the vampire becoming full and fat of energy, but rather disappears into whatever sadness or anger is looming over their heads or heart. They need your energy to survive! But guess what, you need yours to survive too! So you need to visualize that your colorful field force has a seal around it. A seal that is bouncy or as hard as steel depending on the day, but one that cannot be penetrated by people who are not mindful of your boundaries. This will undoubtedly take a lot of practice, but the more you do it, the easier it becomes.
- Be consistent! There is nothing worse than standing up for yourself, thinking “hey that was easy” and get sucked right back into the trap the very next day. Energy vampires are unaware, and will not stop unless you draw borders. Of course, you may fall victim to it here and there, that’s life, but the key is to not get carried away by somebody else’s problems. Stay focused, do your work and remain aware of your own surroundings.
These creatures come in all shapes and sizes. The important thing to realize here is that you are in control of your emotions. If you take the “bait” and get sucked into the “news” or a co-workers complaining, try to become aware of it and exit as soon as possible. If you stay and listen, you may notice that your mood has changed as a reflection of what you are hearing. Don’t let this happen. No matter what anyone says to you or even about you, you are the only one that allows yourself to become upset. Don’t let other people control your emotions with their words and actions. This is part 1 of this series. I’ll be posting more as soon as I recognize and discover the other hidden Energy Vampires that walk among the living. Keep in mind that I only recently came back to life. So I’m assuming that it’s going to take a while to undo the years of damage I suffered as a Zombie. Good luck out there in Zombie Land!